Being R
by Menoko
Summary: It is easy to underestimate her, she admitted. The small girl, who even has to stand on a stool, to reach the worktops of her workshop, with her big eyes and her wavy blond hair. But most of the people working around her, even the Double-Os, learned fast that they shouldn't underestimate her. Well, most of them… Please R
1. Chapter 1

It was not the most pleasing condition for Q. At least that was what the small sized woman in her lent two piece suit and her uncomfortable pumps thought. He was eyeing her suspiciously. That suspiciously that she wondered, if she should feel embarrassed or intimidated. She decided that no one would intimidate her, so she straightened up a bit, to seem taller, than she actually was. Well, actually she was rather small than tall, except you think that five inch three is actually tall.

"Miss Carper will be your new assistant. One her professors, one of our best recruitment instances put her forward. Her recommendations by various other instances and won engineers competitions are remarkable. She will be a fruitful addition to your team. Q, we can be proud, that Miss Carper excepted our offer!", M, the boss of MI6 said and folded his hands on his Desk. One could feel and see Q tense in his chair.

"Sir, I appreciate your suggestion to add Miss Carper to our team and I would be delighted if she would join us, but I think I expressed my wish, I would even say verbalized it, to choose my assistant myself!", Q answered. M just gave him a grief look before he answered himself,

"Q, I didn't suggest Miss Carper as your new assistant, I introduced her to you, as your new assistant. You had a good while to choose for yourself, a time, I consider you did not use!".

Now, it was not only Q tensing more and more. Now, it was the before mentioned Miss Carper, who tensed. Not because she felt uncomfortable or intimidated by the war of words held by the other two men in the room. It was because she got more and more infuriated. By both of them. While both kept on fighting, well in a rather delighting way to be honest, she closed her eyes for a moment, before she stood up. It was one of those moments she hated what she was wearing. It was a black suit lent to her by her roommate, because she actually had nothing nice to wear, except from her first fiddle and a cocktail dress she had worn at her prom. And because her roommate was actually half a head tall than her, it was too big by two sizes. So when she tried to gracefully stand up from the chair, it turned out being far from gracefully, as she was in a constant fight with the loose pants.

"Gentlemen, I think it is time for me to leave you for a minute, until you sorted out, what to do with me, excuse me please!", she uttered, while oppressing the incredible need to grip the waistband of the pants and left the room.


	2. Chapter 2

"Do not interrupt me! You can ask your...questions when I finished.", Q muttered and turned around. M had ordered Q to give R a tour through MI6's Q-Division. R had been quite sure, Q had mumbled something sounding much like 'have something, at least anything, more important to do'. Right now he was rushing through MI6 Headquarters to the so called Q-Division or Branch, R hadn't understood that yet. Well, there was a lot she had not understood yet. For example, why she in particular had been chosen to be the new second in command in a british intelligence institution department.

"As you see, we have a certain dress code around here. You should buy yourself some clothing, instead of borrowing it", Q said sharply, giving R's pants an ignominious look.

"I thought about wearing my first fiddle, but unfortunately I wasn't allowed to enter the country in a uniform!", R hissed back and looked at him defiantly.

"Well, I presume the Airport Control believed you stole it from a real navy officer!", Q scoffed, grinning smugly, while crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"I thought you had more important things to do!", R replied calmly and gave Q a swift but arrogant side look before trespassing the glassdoor, which had a big Q written on it.

The noise of computer keys being frantically tapped reached her ears. All walls were painted white and not a little dirt spot could be spotted on the shiny white tiles. Opposite of the automatic glass door was the biggest computer screen R had seen in her whole life. The rest of the room was occupied by ten identical metal desks that were symmetrically arranged. All the desks were occupied by people hunched over their computers, incessantly feeding them with information and commands.

"So this is your area, I presume", R stated nonchalantly and turned around, only to see Q walking away, not even noticing R had not followed him yet. Or, as it seemed to R, he just did not care, if she followed him or not. R had never cared for peoples mind or attitude towards her. If Q really had been promised to chose his assistant for himself, but told to accept a stranger to that particular position all a sudden, she could understand his utter resentment against her.

R followed Q down a long stair, hidden behind an inconspicuous door that wouldn't open fully, as a desk was standing too close to it. The stair led to another automatic glassdoor identical to the first one, only that there was no letter on it and a little control pad next to it. Q held his ID Card against the pad briefly, before the door opened with a soft swosh. The room was dark and cold.

"There is a switch for the light somewhere around here!", Q said and walked along the wall right to the rooms entrance. R waited another few moments, just for her personal amusement, before she used the light switch, which was not to the right, but the left side of the door.

"Now I see why M employed an engineer!", R taunted Q and turned around to see the now elucidated room. It was amazing. Four desks with unused - probably brand new, never used - computers were left to entrance. Cabinets covered the walls. Behind the Desks followed a long row of different workbenches all for different purposes. All in all, it was a playground for any engineer.

"You have some more machines to produce gadgets and testing facilities to properly test them!", Q said and turned to leave the room. "I see you won't have any problems to settle in! I will leave now. Your ID and first orders are in your office. Good luck!", he said, before he literally ran out of the room.

"But where is my office?", R asked him, but he was already gone.

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Thanks to those who follow the story.

**I have some ideas, but I'm not sure yet, which direction I shall take, so prompts are welcomed!**


	3. Chapter 3

One hundred and twenty five. That was the number of minutes, R had been sitting in her Office – and yes, she actually had some problems to find it – and starring at her orders. She had not signed any official paper, that would ensure her employment, but she already drowned in work. As it seemed, Q Branch had neglected the development division completely. All leading engineers had been fired or left. And R had a vague idea, why 90% of the engineers had left and only the rest of them had to be fired, because they had refused to work, as long as the head of their branch diverged every available penny to his division from the branches budget. As far as R was concerned, there had been a lot of other divisions, which had been abrogated after MI6 had been blown up last year. Well, that is what M had tried to explain to her in his official memo. She was surprised by her own composer at the events that were described. Only the last line was a mystery to her. It was a handwritten note: 'Do NOT trust 007!"

A sudden ring of the phone on her desk startled her.

"D-Division", she answered the phone call. "Is Q there?", a rough and deep voice rang through the phone.

"No, he is up in C-Division and definitely doesn't want to see me!", R replied, a chill running down her spine. This was the first time she was speaking with a real Agent, probably even a Double-O Agent.

"I'm R, his new assistant, maybe I can help you?", R said, after the Agent did not reply.

"Do you have my new gun?", he immediately replied, sounding exhilarated.

"Do you have a minute?", R asked and started to look for the Agents file. At the same moment she grabbed for the drawer holding all the files, she reminded herself, she did not even now his name.

"How long you said you are working for Q?", the Agent said sounding amused, before R could ask him for his name.

"Since today!", R replied feeling rather unsure for a moment, until she remembered what her actual goal was, "What's your name?", she asked, already having one hand on the files in the drawer.

"Bond, James Bond!", he replied and R squeezed the earphone between her chin and her shoulder. She found Bonds file easily, as it was the seventh.

"Oh my god, you are 007!", she exclaimed, squeezing her eyes shut and mentally hitting herself the same moment.

"I presume you have been warned", Bond replied sounding more and more amused.

"Oh no, how you come to this conclusion", R retorted, trying to sound sarcastic, while searching the button for the loudspeaker. "I've been mesmerized by your glorious and heroic deeds. They've been told to me by M while I was sitting on his lap!", she continued joking, while looking for Bond's equipment drawer. She found it in the biggest cabinet, which was – to her misfortune – twice her size in length and broader than her arms were long. The drawers were thin and spread over the whole length of the cabinet. And of course the drawer with the number seven was far out of her reach, nor was it clear to the you woman, how she should open the drawers.

"I have to hang up now! I'll be back at headquarters in five minutes. Will you have the gun ready?", the Agent asked, while R was still trying to find a chair to stand on and open the drawer. "Yes, of course I will be ready!", she answered and heard the well-known beep-beep. In that moment another thought crossed her mind. How should she open the door? When she had walked past the door before, it did not open, so it seemed it was not automatic and had be opened by hand. And as far as she was concerned there was no buzzer next to the door to open it. Reluctantly, she walked back to the phone and looked for Q's number on the phone list.

"Sir it's R, I need your help!", she said as fast as Q answered her call. She heard a long sighed, before he replied.

"What is it? Can't you reach the worktops, or no, even worse you saw a spider!", he snickered, while obviously typing at his computer.

"No! I cannot open 007's drawer, nor do I know how to open the door!", she hissed in to the telephone. She heard a faint laughter, before Q answered, "I will save you, don't you worry!", he giggled on and hung up.

After waiting a few minutes, R heard the characteristic swoosh of the door and two people entering the room.

"007, this is my new assistant R, or in this particular moment, the damsel in distress!", Q snickered and crossed the distance to R, a tall and bulky man on his heels. He pushed a really well hidden button on the cabinet next to drawer number seven. With a nearly inaudible tsh-sound the drawer opened and Q pulled it out of the cabinet, walking to the nearest workbench.

"The stage is yours, R!", he said with a broad grin and pointed at the drawer.

"Ah yes. Here is your gun Mister Bond, a Walter PPK/S 9mm as it appears. Although I do not quite get the enhancement at the pistol grip.", R said and handed the gun to Bond, who immediately stashed the gun into one of his pockets.

"First day, hu", he remarked with a smug grin on his face.

"Yeah, first day!", R replied and looked again in the else way meagre stacked drawer.


	4. Chapter 4

"I need engineers and technicians!", "Well, I am very sorry, but we do not have any money to spare for any other employees!", "How am I supposed to make a whole division work in a one man show?! You left development to rot and now I am supposed to revive it with what?! My bare hands?!", "I did not beg for you to come here!", "As far as I'm concerned our Boss obviously declared you not fit for choosing your own employees! You really want me to go to him to ask him for my employees?!", "Language, Missy!".

"What is the matter?", a harsh and commanding voice ended the ugly argument between the new co-workers. M walked fast over to both of them and gave both a puzzled look, before scowling at both of them.

"Mister Q denies me any additional staff for my division!", "I did not deny you workers, I just made aware to you, that there is no money!", "Shut up!", Mallory ended the germinal argument.

"You obey your supervisor's orders!", M said, addressing R. She could see Q grinning smugly at her.

"But you can not deny R any subordinates!", he said, addressing Q. The next moment he was gasping for air. "But I told you, I have no m...", "Make some money easy!". Now it was R grinning smugly at Q.

"I actually went down here, to ask how the bond mission is working!", M said, "Before discovering your childish side. With both of you!". R registered Q giving her another ugly look, before he turned back to his computer and showing M the newest results of Bond's current assignment in South Africa.

"Q?", silence, "Q", and again no answer from the leeway talkative young man. "Q!", R repeated, now more vehement than ever, "WHAT?!", was the not at least less vehement answer. "I think we need to talk!", R responded in a fake calm tone. One look at her fisted hands told you, that she was about to either explode or kill a certain person. "I think you have your subordinates, approved right from above! What else would you want now, my very position?!", Q said, turning around furiously and crossing the space between him and R, so their faces nearly touched.

"I wanted to say I am sorry and that I do not wish to be in a constant fight with you! I will try to show no disrespect to you in the future!", R said and lowered her gaze to the tips of Q's shoes. She would have predicted any reactions from him, but not faint, fake laughter. Puzzled she looked up.

"You really think I would buy this, hu?! You really think you just look up through your lashes, make some big eyes and whisper a little apology and I would be lulled by you?!", Q said in the most invidious tone of voice, R had ever heard, "I know girls like you!", he continued, "Girls that charm teachers to like them in school and later do the same at university and their job! But I will not fall for you or any of you wrong apologies, your beautiful face or anything else!", he hissed and got closer to her face again, with every spiteful word he spoke. "You might have M on your side, but he's just interested in your references! I am interested in people's work! You see, all the people of my division are hand-picked by me. And this will not change. So you have two options to get along with me: Either you show by your work, that you are worthy or you leave for good and never ever molest me again! Did I make my point?!", he went on and then straightened up again, turning back to his computer.

A few moments later, R was again sitting alone in her office. It was her second day at her new job and the only thing she wanted was to leave immediately. It was one of these days one wished for magical fingers, that turn any liquid they touch into booze. R heard the characteristic swoosh of the door and looked up, just to see a beautiful mocha skinned woman entering the room.

"I think we haven't been introduced yet! My name is Eve Moneypenny, I'm M's secretary!", she introduced herself and stretched out her hand to R. "I'm R!", R answered and gave her a tired smile, before turning down her look back to her cup, filled with meanwhile cold coffee.

"Q is giving you a hard time, right.", Eve answered and pulled up a chair to sit next to R. "He's giving everybody a hard time, well everybody, who's under his command!", she continued, when R did not answer. "Don't blame yourself, it will get better eventually!", "Well, I don't think anybody fucked up with him as I did!", R answered and took a sip of her coffee, just to twist her face in disgust. "I better get a new coffee, want some, too?", "A cuppa would be nice!".

"You are even younger than him and you are as brilliant as he is. He knows that!", Eve said, after R handed her a cup of coffee. "He had to defend himself from everybody in Q-Branch, when he was appointed as new Quartermaster. He is the youngest Quartermaster in MI6 history and for a good while M let him have his will, because he fully trusted him! You are the first sign of distrusted. You have not been employed by Q but by M and he sees you as a thread for himself!", Eve tried to explain. "But I am not a threat to him!", "You are the second in command! If M thinks Q is unfit or compromised, you will immediately replace him! He has fought for this position all his life, he literally grew up around Q-Branch. There will be the day he learns to appreciate you and do not see you as a threat anymore, but give him time and do not ask from him to get along with you just like this!", Eve finished and emphasized her last sentence with a snap of her fingers.

"I don't need him to get along with me, I just want him to leave me alone!", R said and took a sip of her coffee. "As far as I'm concerned, Q likes it, when his subordinates just have contact with him by mail and applications.", Eve joked and even got a small smile from R. "He said some bad things, that's all!", "I know, M listened and told me to come down and talk to you!", "He won't get any reprimand for this, will he?", R asked. "You want him to?", No definitely not! He can't stand me already and a reprimand because of me will just worse the matter!", R blurted out and gave Eve a sheepish grin before having another sip out of her cup. Eve smiled, too, but suddenly her smile froze.

"Yes Sir, I will come up immediately!", she said to thin air, before raising from her chair and handing her cup to R. "It was nice meeting you!", "The pleasure was on my side!". R uncertainly pointed at her ear and Eve understood, "Yes I'm wearing an earpiece when not being around M!", she said and waved the fact away, as it was the most normal thing to do. "He did not listen to us, did he?!", R asked cautiously looking at eve's right ear. "Oh know, there is a safety in it, so there is a faint sought, whenever it is activated! I'm not here for spying, don't worry!", she said, before she waved bye bye and turned to leave.

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